It’s not easy to be taken seriously and be funny. Nor is it easy to entertain without resorting to shock and “awe no don’t go there”.

Bruce Morton has been walking this thin line for years – intelligent observational comedy that makes you laugh.

Anyway today I got to meet him for coffee and thrash out some ideas. I don’t think there is anyone who understands the human condition more than a comic.

As a psychologist I have a lot to learn from our comedians.

Just been listening to a health care worker and a cancer survivor being interviewed.

The survivor was big on mental attitude, having learned that there are three legs to the cancer survivors stool;

Mind
Body and
Spirit

The hospital takes care of the body but mind and spirit are up to the patient.

The health professional kept going on about “being realistic”.

The survivor had a much more interesting message, as he had beat odds of 410,000,000 to 1.

There is a lot I could say on this subject but I am going to restrict it to “being realistic”.

There are a number of flaws in the health professionals approach.

Firstly there is an assumption that they have all the facts correct.

There is an assumption that all things, including the cancer patient, are the same.

The truth is that everything is subjective. Nothing so complex is measurable or predictable. What I see as being real and what you see as being real are not the same.

So the health professional was taking a stance that her perception, her view of the world was more accurate than anyone else’s. But this is how we all feel. We all believe our own paradigm is the true paradigm.

The cancer survivor had a very different paradigm and all the health care worker could do was relegate his paradigm to hers. She called this “being realistic”.

If the cancer patient had listened to the people advising him to be realistic, he would have been dead, as the odds were against him. Expecting to survive was unrealistic for him. Thankfully he didn’t and he worked on mind and spirit and survived.

So the next time someone tells you to be realistic, ignore them. Better still knock them on their ass. It’s dangerous talk and it could get you killed.

Create paradigms that serve you. Yours is every bit as valid as anyone else’s. Do not be persuaded by their uniforms or status. Do not let their arrogance and blinkered view cost you your life.

If I had put in a request for a day in February, on the west coast of Scotland, with blue sky’s, no wind and a balmy 14C, I think it would have been refused.

If I had asked for these conditions, so as I could enjoy a weekend break with my wife, I think pretty much everyone would have said I had “a snowballs chance in hell”.

But that’s what I got today. My face is feeling like it has been exposed to the sun all day. And I don’t mind telling you that staring at a big blue sky all day is like a colonic for the soul.

The above photograph is of a tree I took in Oban. I wanted to show you how blue the sky was but I also had to share my marvel at this determined tree. Its located right on the waters edge, it is fully exposed to the wilds of Oban, which are pretty wild on any other day of the year.

Should it be there? No. Is it a good spot for a tree? Absolutely not. And yet there it stands alone but majestic, against the odds. Against the very forces of nature.

Ask a lot from life. Ask a lot from each day. Take impossible stances. Be unreasonable. Do what can’t be done. Exist where you shouldnt.

A few years ago, back when I worked in a factory I coined the term “geographical independence”. My friend dave and I used to dream of a time when we would no longer be tied to the factory and could make our living from anywhere.

Back then it was just wishful thinking; a dream if you like.

A few years on I added another fanciful notion, to add to “geographical independence”, I decided that I want to hang out, drinking coffee, with interesting people, most probably writers, who have cool things to say.

And I suspect when I was a boy, like every other boy, I dreamed of having a Ferrari.

Yesterday I was visiting my friend and author, Ali Campbell. (He makes the best coffee ever). He told me about his latest book, which is a cracker. We didn’t get out for a hurl in his new Ferrari because it was a bit icy, so we will save that for a sunny day.

I haven’t been tied to an office for over ten years and have been fully geographically independent for at least seven. I have worked from France, Spain, Czech republic , canada and Ukraine, over the last few years and nobody noticed.

I have witnessed fanciful notions and boyhood dreams materialise for me and some of the people I know.

At the time I asked for these things I had no idea how to achieve them. I’m not sure I initially believed it was possible. But as the dream persisted I had more ideas as to how to bring it to reality. Ali has never mentioned anything about getting a Ferrari so I expect his was a similar experience, where it just sort of happened.

Ali works hard. I work hard. But while we are working hard on our business, our subconscious is working hard on our dreams. It takes effort but it is better if it’s indirect effort.

So go visit your dreams. Ask a lot from life as you may wake up to a new Ferrari in your drive.

Ali’s new carbon fibre cup holder for the Ferrari.

I’ve got a new client who is very cool and a pleasure to work with.

Together we are going to do some very cool stuff

Just spent a great afternoon with a client that really gets it.

They understand that people are human, not machines. They are genuinely looking to make it work for their employees, their clients and their management.

It’s a tall order. Few companies ever manage to meet the needs of all three. Usually one party at least suffers.

So how do to delight all three?

Simple, remember they are all human. They all have human needs. They will behave as humans and as such this behaviour is predictable; good or bad. Appropriate or not.

But the biggest thing is to appreciate people and remember that different personality types need to be appreciated in different ways. To go out of your way to find a way of expressing appreciation, is a very smart and decent thing to do. It promises huge returns.

This weeks most disturbing news came via a book review I received.

As you know my new book “Career Change” is coming out soon, so I have asked some people to review it.

They have very kindly looked beyond the typos and written some pretty cool stuff.

What disturbed me however was that one lady told me that my book confirmed why she had hated the place she worked for 24 years. To be more specific “I hated every minute I worked there for 24 years.”

I wish I had got there sooner. I wish I had got there 24 years ago. No one should stay in a job they hate – NO ONE.

You have options and alternatives. Everyone does. I don’t care what the economy is doing, even at it’s worst, you have options.

So why would anyone stay in a job they hated for 24 years?

The psychology is interesting and complex. I can’t speak about this particular case but I can talk more generally.

I am going to refer to an old friend of mine, Estrella the elephant. (see photo below)

When elephants are being trained they are initially tethered with a chain around their ankle. But after a few months the chain is replaced with a bit of rope. Now the elephant could easily break the rope but it never tries to. It accepts the tether because it is conditioned to behave that way, even if it doesn’t like the tether.

This is one of the reasons why someone stays in a job they hate for 24 years.

Don’t let it be you. You have options. It’s only a piece of string. You can easily break it if you try.

I am sitting in the hospital watching the people around me.

It’s a long day of waiting.

Most of the people here are outpatients awaiting treatment. They come from all backgrounds, are of all ages and diverse social backgrounds. Illness doesn’t discriminate.

I people watch. Not because i’m nosey but because I genuinely find people interesting. These days I also have a professional interest.

I’m sitting thinking about how our personality affects our health. If you consider the very word “patient” you can already see that some people are. More suited to illness than others.

Patience is not something that comes naturally to me. Its a personality thing. Waiting isn’t good for me. And everyone around me is waiting. Waiting for treatment. Waiting for news. Waiting for results.

For all those people who share my personality trait, making them wait is positively cruel. It’s stressful. It induces stress.

Now other personality types are ok with waiting. They are naturally furnished with patience.

Patience however, is not a virtue, it’s a personality thing. The amount of patience you have is determined by your personality type.

It’s ok to be impatient. Simply knowing this and accepting it will help. Is it not impatient people who try new ideas? If it weren’t for an impatient person would we have bothered to invent transport that moved faster than walking speed?

Impatience isn’t always a bad thing. Perhaps instead of having an outpatient department someone like me will create an impatient department.

So here goes. Years of study in psychology and personal development are about to be put to the test.

I face the biggest challenge of all. I face the one thing that could unravel me.

As I write I am standing in the queue about to try and board a ryanair flight to Barcelona.

It would test the dhali lama himself.

Wish me luck.

I was asked to contribute my thoughts on an article about email marketing for StartUps.co.uk a site dedicated to helping people start their own business.

As someone who has sent over 20 million emails (no exageration) in the last few years, I suppose I am qulified to say something about email marketing. It’s something I spend a lot of time on and it’s something I study.

If you are interested in email marketing then you may want to have a read at the article over at

http://www.startups.co.uk/email-marketing-ten-tips-for-a-successful-campaign.html