I have spent the last few weeks writing a new personality report called

“Discover who you REALLY are – 15 Things you didn’t know about you”

OK, it’s not the shortest title but it says it all.

This report is the broadest we have ever published, as it covers much more than just career issues. It also talks about relationships and family and even health issues.

Personality is about much more than just career as it affects every aspect of your life.

My thing is to see more people solve every day problems from a deeper understanding of self and others. Whether these are problems at work or problems at home. The 15 Things report is essentially 15 personality reports in one, covering a very diverse subject range.

Discover who you really are is exactly what everyone needs. It helps you with pretty much every aspect of your life as well as your career.

I have had some interesting feedback and testimonials already. Here’s what Rosheen had to say;

“This was great it provided good and new information plus some LOL moments!”

If you haven’t grabbed your copy your copy yet then check your email as some members were offered a discount. Failing that just head over to http://www.peoplemaps.com/discover-who-you-really-are/ and grab your own copy.

I have just read the latest post by Julie Gibbons She writes beautifully and I envy her that but in this post she bares her soul and her vulnerability too.

I believe that good writing is rooted in honesty and openness. It’s not enough to know your subject, you need to connect with people and Julie does this better than any writer I know.

It takes courage to be open about how you are feeling and Julie has taken a leap here. I don’t think I will be the only one who appreciates this. Nor do I think she is alone in feeling this way. Surely everyone feels this way at some point.

But not only is she working through it, she is sharing it with everyone, so that they may also know they are not the only one. Humans need to share how they feel. It’s part of the human condition. It may not be that logical but it is human. Julie touches upon humanity better than most.

Is it unrealistic to expect to love what you do? Is it asking too much?

I’m a great believer in asking a lot from life. Maybe you will not get all that you ask for but you will never get more than you ask for.

When you set out the expectation to love what you do for a living, then you are planting seeds of expectation. Not all seeds germinate but they stand a good chance of doing so if you stick them in the ground.

But it’s not just a nicely or a luxury. Everything depends upon it. It’s not possible to sustain success if you do not love what you do.

I know there is a common philosophy of  ”I hate this job but I get paid well for it”. But is this really good enough? an you honestly expect to be promoted with that kind of attitude? People can tell if you love what you do or not and they prefer to work with people who genuinely do. Don’t you?

When you do not love what you do your success, if any, is short lived. So don’t settle for anything less than finding a job that you love to do. This is the secret to success. Do not chase the money as it will always elude you. Do what you do out of love and the money may come.

I’ve got a couple of stitches on my tongue. Nothing serious but it means I can’t speak.

Not being to speak is a real issue for a gab like me. I make my living speaking. I can talk for hours about psychology and career without a note.

I have a lot of words. More than is reasonable. More than most.

So how is this enforced silence affecting me?

It’s murder. I’m bursting with stuff to say. I recorded four new videos yesterday because just thinking about not being able to speak inspired new things to say.

So can I still be an extravert if I can’t speak? Well of course. If anything even more so.

There are lots of people not given a chance to speak out. Most school children, most of the time, for instance.

I think it’s harder on Julie. On one hand her ears get a rest but not hearing me blathering on will naturally trigger feelings of “what’s wrong?” of course she knows it’s just the stitches but that initial response can’t be helped. It also leaves a lot of air space for her to fill.

I’ll be back to normal in a few days but I spare a thought for all the frustrated and thwarted extraverts that dont get to express themselves.

It’s not easy to be taken seriously and be funny. Nor is it easy to entertain without resorting to shock and “awe no don’t go there”.

Bruce Morton has been walking this thin line for years – intelligent observational comedy that makes you laugh.

Anyway today I got to meet him for coffee and thrash out some ideas. I don’t think there is anyone who understands the human condition more than a comic.

As a psychologist I have a lot to learn from our comedians.

Just been listening to a health care worker and a cancer survivor being interviewed.

The survivor was big on mental attitude, having learned that there are three legs to the cancer survivors stool;

Mind
Body and
Spirit

The hospital takes care of the body but mind and spirit are up to the patient.

The health professional kept going on about “being realistic”.

The survivor had a much more interesting message, as he had beat odds of 410,000,000 to 1.

There is a lot I could say on this subject but I am going to restrict it to “being realistic”.

There are a number of flaws in the health professionals approach.

Firstly there is an assumption that they have all the facts correct.

There is an assumption that all things, including the cancer patient, are the same.

The truth is that everything is subjective. Nothing so complex is measurable or predictable. What I see as being real and what you see as being real are not the same.

So the health professional was taking a stance that her perception, her view of the world was more accurate than anyone else’s. But this is how we all feel. We all believe our own paradigm is the true paradigm.

The cancer survivor had a very different paradigm and all the health care worker could do was relegate his paradigm to hers. She called this “being realistic”.

If the cancer patient had listened to the people advising him to be realistic, he would have been dead, as the odds were against him. Expecting to survive was unrealistic for him. Thankfully he didn’t and he worked on mind and spirit and survived.

So the next time someone tells you to be realistic, ignore them. Better still knock them on their ass. It’s dangerous talk and it could get you killed.

Create paradigms that serve you. Yours is every bit as valid as anyone else’s. Do not be persuaded by their uniforms or status. Do not let their arrogance and blinkered view cost you your life.

If I had put in a request for a day in February, on the west coast of Scotland, with blue sky’s, no wind and a balmy 14C, I think it would have been refused.

If I had asked for these conditions, so as I could enjoy a weekend break with my wife, I think pretty much everyone would have said I had “a snowballs chance in hell”.

But that’s what I got today. My face is feeling like it has been exposed to the sun all day. And I don’t mind telling you that staring at a big blue sky all day is like a colonic for the soul.

The above photograph is of a tree I took in Oban. I wanted to show you how blue the sky was but I also had to share my marvel at this determined tree. Its located right on the waters edge, it is fully exposed to the wilds of Oban, which are pretty wild on any other day of the year.

Should it be there? No. Is it a good spot for a tree? Absolutely not. And yet there it stands alone but majestic, against the odds. Against the very forces of nature.

Ask a lot from life. Ask a lot from each day. Take impossible stances. Be unreasonable. Do what can’t be done. Exist where you shouldnt.

A few years ago, back when I worked in a factory I coined the term “geographical independence”. My friend dave and I used to dream of a time when we would no longer be tied to the factory and could make our living from anywhere.

Back then it was just wishful thinking; a dream if you like.

A few years on I added another fanciful notion, to add to “geographical independence”, I decided that I want to hang out, drinking coffee, with interesting people, most probably writers, who have cool things to say.

And I suspect when I was a boy, like every other boy, I dreamed of having a Ferrari.

Yesterday I was visiting my friend and author, Ali Campbell. (He makes the best coffee ever). He told me about his latest book, which is a cracker. We didn’t get out for a hurl in his new Ferrari because it was a bit icy, so we will save that for a sunny day.

I haven’t been tied to an office for over ten years and have been fully geographically independent for at least seven. I have worked from France, Spain, Czech republic , canada and Ukraine, over the last few years and nobody noticed.

I have witnessed fanciful notions and boyhood dreams materialise for me and some of the people I know.

At the time I asked for these things I had no idea how to achieve them. I’m not sure I initially believed it was possible. But as the dream persisted I had more ideas as to how to bring it to reality. Ali has never mentioned anything about getting a Ferrari so I expect his was a similar experience, where it just sort of happened.

Ali works hard. I work hard. But while we are working hard on our business, our subconscious is working hard on our dreams. It takes effort but it is better if it’s indirect effort.

So go visit your dreams. Ask a lot from life as you may wake up to a new Ferrari in your drive.

Ali’s new carbon fibre cup holder for the Ferrari.

I’ve got a new client who is very cool and a pleasure to work with.

Together we are going to do some very cool stuff

Just spent a great afternoon with a client that really gets it.

They understand that people are human, not machines. They are genuinely looking to make it work for their employees, their clients and their management.

It’s a tall order. Few companies ever manage to meet the needs of all three. Usually one party at least suffers.

So how do to delight all three?

Simple, remember they are all human. They all have human needs. They will behave as humans and as such this behaviour is predictable; good or bad. Appropriate or not.

But the biggest thing is to appreciate people and remember that different personality types need to be appreciated in different ways. To go out of your way to find a way of expressing appreciation, is a very smart and decent thing to do. It promises huge returns.