by martingibbons | Dec 18, 2012 | Reviews
Back around 1999 we were about to get a Scottish Parliament for the first time in 300 years. I was also interested in making my life a little more interesting at the time and decided I wanted to mix with some celebrities. I’m not normally that keen to meet celebrities as they often disappoint. It’s not their fault really, it’s simply that they have great difficulty meeting the expectations we have created for them. Each of us makes our own version of the people we see on the TV, so the chances of them matching it when you meet them in the flesh are almost impossible. I heard recently about a chap who was a huge Colin Montgomerie fan (Yes, the golfer). He had posters all over his wall with Mongomerie’s dour coupon looking down at him. He saved up his money to go see him play at the Scottish open. He pushed his way to the front and waited for days to get a glimpse and get up close to the great man. Finally he was close enough to ask for an autograph as Mongomerie came of the green. Unfortunately Mongomerie just pushed him aside and he never got his signature. So he went straight home and tore down all his posters. It’s an understandable response however you have to wonder as to the facsimile he had created of Montgomerie. My own impressions are that of a dour Scot. Let’s face it he is Scottish and he is obsessed by golf. That isn’t a recipe for a warm hearted, party person. But you see I have just applied my own impression based on next to nothing. We do this as...
by martingibbons | Nov 1, 2012 | Personal Development
I am writing this from my hospital bed and I’m still a little stoned after surgery. I’ve just been reading purple cow again by Seth godin. I love that man (that will be the drugs). Just read a wee gem “we’ve been raised with a false belief: we mistakingly believe that criticism leads to failure. From the time we get to school, we’re taught that being noticed is almost always bad. It gets us sent to the principals office, not to Harvard.” Our school system is going a step further by not letting pupils sit exams unless they are sure they are going to pass them. They don’t understand what this does to the psyche. They do not realise the implications on our behaviour. But back to my main subject ; criticism. There are some jobs, some tasks, where failure is not an option – My surgery today for instance. But for pretty much everything else you should take enough chances to leave yourself open to criticism. You should always create the chance to fail. Ok, now you are thinking its the drugs that’s talking, but let me explain. When you live to avoid failure or criticism, you have to become what Billy Connelly calls “the beige people”. You have to become so bland that you are barely noticed. You can’t be remarkable when you are beige. Better to pick something, be something, stand for something. Better to upset a few people and be criticised by some, than to try and please everyone. Better to fail at a bunch of things in an attempt to achieve something, than to...
by martingibbons | Mar 12, 2012 | Career Development
Is it unrealistic to expect to love what you do? Is it asking too much? I’m a great believer in asking a lot from life. Maybe you will not get all that you ask for but you will never get more than you ask for. When you set out the expectation to love what you do for a living, then you are planting seeds of expectation. Not all seeds germinate but they stand a good chance of doing so if you stick them in the ground. But it’s not just a nicely or a luxury. Everything depends upon it. It’s not possible to sustain success if you do not love what you do. I know there is a common philosophy of “I hate this job but I get paid well for it”. But is this really good enough? an you honestly expect to be promoted with that kind of attitude? People can tell if you love what you do or not and they prefer to work with people who genuinely do. Don’t you? When you do not love what you do your success, if any, is short lived. So don’t settle for anything less than finding a job that you love to do. This is the secret to success. Do not chase the money as it will always elude you. Do what you do out of love and the money may...
by martingibbons | Mar 9, 2012 | psychology
I’ve got a couple of stitches on my tongue. Nothing serious but it means I can’t speak. Not being to speak is a real issue for a gab like me. I make my living speaking. I can talk for hours about psychology and career without a note. I have a lot of words. More than is reasonable. More than most. So how is this enforced silence affecting me? It’s murder. I’m bursting with stuff to say. I recorded four new videos yesterday because just thinking about not being able to speak inspired new things to say. So can I still be an extravert if I can’t speak? Well of course. If anything even more so. There are lots of people not given a chance to speak out. Most school children, most of the time, for instance. I think it’s harder on Julie. On one hand her ears get a rest but not hearing me blathering on will naturally trigger feelings of “what’s wrong?” of course she knows it’s just the stitches but that initial response can’t be helped. It also leaves a lot of air space for her to fill. I’ll be back to normal in a few days but I spare a thought for all the frustrated and thwarted extraverts that dont get to express...
by martingibbons | Feb 22, 2012 | Martin in the media
It’s not easy to be taken seriously and be funny. Nor is it easy to entertain without resorting to shock and “awe no don’t go there”. Bruce Morton has been walking this thin line for years – intelligent observational comedy that makes you laugh. Anyway today I got to meet him for coffee and thrash out some ideas. I don’t think there is anyone who understands the human condition more than a comic. As a psychologist I have a lot to learn from our...
